I’m 30 years old (soon to be 31). I’m a new trans woman (still working through how I might accept it and see myself). I’m unsure how far I should go. I’ve spoken at some length on other communities about what it feels like to be “ugly and masc”. I realize feeling like I can’t “pass” as a fem is partly due to deeply rooted transphobia. I have what most older men have: masculine distribution of fat (bit of a belly), hairy everywhere, fears of balding (so far not yet), deepish voice, etc.
If I had no friends or family, I’d probably just go all in: hormone therapies, voice training, surgeries, etc. But I feel like I need to pass in front of my immediate family since I’m sure I wouldn’t be accepted. I love them, but they wouldn’t get it.
I don’t know how far I should go with transitioning. I am currently considering growing out my hair, shaving, and trying to do exercises that conform my body to a more stereotypical feminine shape. Is there a lot of risk in hormone therapies and voice training? Is it hard to go “boy mode” after the fact? What about being 30+ years old and starting it? Should I just accept I’ll never pass?
Yeah, the center of my chest it was thick enough i couldn’t see my bare skin through it.
My beard does bug me still, and sideburns drive me batshit crazy (giant head + thick sideburns + glasses + headphones = PRESSURE!!), but its relatively manageable for me.
It does still depress me though; the main reason i grew it was giving up on constant shaving, but i also unfortunately learned that a beard makes me significantly more approachable as a person. As in, i stopped noticing people skittering away from me in stores ☹️
Its also in my picture for multiple forms of work ID cards/badges.