Honestly this is a great joke but also could legitimately be a good service for someone who didn’t feel safe walking alone, or needs help navigating
A lot of university campuses have this. It’s a good idea.
They probably don’t charge money for that service though, and that’s a better idea.
They do, it’s part of the tuition
Not really the same. Charging for this would discourage people from using it. They have to make a choice on feeling safe vs. spending money.
This gives everyone the option and subsidizes it to the entire community.
This is exactly why socializing things like this is beneficial.
Every service has a cost. That cost is the value of the labor being provided. But we decide as a society that providing services like this benefits everyone living in society. Regardless of if they use it directly or not.
When people say “free” in this context that’s what they mean. They mean the decision based on personal finance is removed.
We don’t want people choosing personal finance over safety or health. Removing that dependency benefits everyone.
Good point. A sort of community service I guess
Glad you got that! Its a major point in talking about social programs. If you can see this in college programs you can see the benefit when applied to social programs as well. Not sure if I can convince you of that too. But it’s always nice to get a response of “that makes sense” in this context.
Maybe subsidized by it, but a lot of services from my local state institution are accessible by all.
I found out in my senior year, that my campus had been plagued by a serial rapist for several years, going back to before i was a freshman, and the school had covered it up. I only found out about it when i learned that my roommate’s girlfriend had a sorority sister on a full-ride scholarship to keep her quiet about being raped in her freshman year.
Suddenly, the pressure to use their chaperone service became clear.
John Mulaney has a joke about how his parents knew Bill Clinton that way, from all going to undergrad together at Georgetown. Apparently all the women loved being escorted by Bill Clinton, and the men were all jealous.
Tbh, it makes sense. You don’t end up being president by being a no-rizz fool. You may be considering bringing up Trump as a counter-argument, but just look at all the people that are letting him pound them in the ass right now.
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The 99%
Wait: My memory of the story was that Clinton loved to escort women around and constantly signed up for the duty, and everyone else on all sides of the equation had no particular strong feelings about it. Except for John Mulaney’s mom.
Well yeah, he was the president.
My school had a number you could call and they’d dispatch a golf cart with 2 student workers to take you anywhere on campus for free, 24/7 (minus holidays and breaks when University offices were cosed).
Especially if they’d help carry your bags and whatnot; that could be very helpful for someone who has mobility issues or just has a lot of things they need to bring. Well worth $7.50
how can it be this cheap though? sure it doesn’t require gas but it takes longer so the guy would need more pay for the service right?
The business model is to make it cheap initially by subsidizing it with investor capital. So, the gig worker may be paid more than the user is being charged. Then, eventually raise the price once the user base is large enough and dependent enough on it (or the prior alternative is sufficiently put out of business).
If they actually matched up with the routes other people might take, I would do it. I’m always walking around downtown anyways, but I’m a relatively large poor-looking man so I never get hassled.
You’re right, this is a great services for predators to register.
It’s a great idea. This is the shit side of it.
I feel awfully called out as a 1994 white Kevin…
Hahaha white Kev never can catch a break
It’s at least 5 years old and it seems every single year the news outlets “fact check” it and declare it false.
Meanwhile we have actual conspiracy theories on official government websites and those same outlets say nothing.
I hate this timeline.
There’s been jokes that end up becoming reality so yearly fact-checks is appreciated
For $7.50 I’d unironically use a walking buddy at least once
For safety in numbers, or talk therapy?
Novelty?
That’s literally the only reason to me. I’d be so weird for 20min that he’ll talk about it for a decade.
Them: white Kevin
You: dressed in a full body banana costume while awkwardly carrying a cinder block. Refuse to explain why, or talk about anything except a ranked list of the worst smells you’ve ever experienced. Destination is a closed public library at 2am. Say “well, it’s time to do the thing I came here to do.” Stand, watching them until they walk away.
You know… There’s a lot of women that wouldn’t dare to walk alone at night. That white Kevin has been vetted by Uber and has a paper trail.
How about not just a white Kevin but an Armed Stacey, or a security guard Michelle.
of course, it’d probably cost MORE to get someone to walk with you because they’d have to not only drive there and walk but walk back.
Vetted by Uber doesn’t really mean much.
Especially because there’s a huge industry for fake driver accounts so literally anyone can buy an uber ‘employment’.
How do they get by having their actual picture?
Guess people don’t look too closely? nfi tbh.
If Jimmy shows up in a black Toyota Camry with the right license plate, that’s one thing.
I’d like to think that if Jimmy is your walking buddy, you might notice these kinds of things, tho :)
Both see the same offer, neither get the money
Is the hand holding optional or?
Compulsory.
Your preference will be determined through biometrics and you will be billed on a scale determine by your Uber rating.
Do they bring their own leash or can you use your own?
Can I use the one with the fuzzy collar?
Why is the walking buddy holding hands? Are they letting you know Kevin is single and ready to mingle?
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“Drop off” makes it sound like he’ll carry you.
This is routing from LaGuardia airport in NY, meaning the “walking” route has you taking a subway. Maybe the walking buddy is a local NYC thing meant for people who want assistance navigating the trains. I never see this on my app tho so it must have been a trial feature.
I’m hoping (praying) that since this is a shitposting sub, you and I both are just particularly gullible and this is not an actual thing.
I thought for sure it was fake until I noticed the map was my neighborhood 😂
rent a girlfriend?
Dude there’s probably a business in that. People typically just get hookers for that weird situation where a rich powerful man has to go to an event and bring a plus one, and he can’t find a woman who doesn’t hate him so he has to rent one by the hour.
Make it an app. Fuck it. Lets let the business majors ruin that too.
They usually get escorts, which actually isn’t the same thing as a hooker and not all of them actually do sex work. I have no idea why I know anything about that, but it was something I was just kinda aware of as a young adult.
“not all of them actually do sex work” is one of those fictions that everyone on all sides is happy to play along with.
I’ve always understood it to be more “sex isn’t guaranteed if you’re a big enough asshole and sometimes they’re a beard”
And some men pay hookers “just to talk.” Sure they do.
It does happen, but it’s once in a blue moon and not something that can keep a whole business model going.
there have been many attempts but unfortunately the evangelicals control the banks/payment processors so it hasn’t happened
Is uber not profitable?
“In 2023, Uber reported its first annual profit since going public in 2019, with a net income of $1.9 billion. This follows a period of consistent losses for the company.”
unlike other comments, I’d argue, like most tech, it was incredibly profitable for anyone except the people funding it.
Business is not about extracting money from goods and services, it’s about tricking VC funders to give you 50 million dollars a year
Hilariously unprofitable. They even came up with creative accounting to show how, despite never being profitable they may turn a profit if you don’t count their debts and losses.
Uber’s true business model isn’t in place yet. Eventually, all cars will be self-driving, and they can ditch the drivers. The ultimate objective is to replace personal car ownership with a driving service.
Once they don’t have to pay drivers, and they have monthly fees coming in from millions of subscribers, they’ll clean up.
I think you’re wrong on this one.
Currently uber does not own anything. Repair costs are for the drivers. Buying a car is for the drivers.
If they are not profitable now, replacing driver’s “wage” will only make it more expensive.
I’m not wrong, it’s on their website:
At Uber, it’s our mission to reimagine the way the world moves for the better—and it’s clear that autonomous vehicles (AVs) will play a part in our future. With that in mind, we have been building Uber for the road ahead.
Then they go onto describe how they are going to use driverless vehicles for personal mobility, delivery, and freight.
I wouldn’t put it past them to still use other people’s self driving cars.
So their entire company is built on the gamble that self-driving cars will happen before their finances implode?
Yep, its on their website.
Thanks for the input.
In my opinion, this is definitely copium on uber’s part. Taking on far more debt to try to be a public utility level of too big to fail is laughable. There is always an end stage they need to sell that is bigger and better.
Never has been Earth astronauts gun meme
No, but fr Uber is a masterclass in creative accounting and strategic acquisitions for further creative accounting.
Their whole business model is “wait for self driving and then $$$” as they’ll no longer have to pay anybody.
This would be legitimately amazing.
