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Do what I do: Be fat and ugly. Not only will you not be in the girlfriend zone, men will go out of their way to make sure you know they “don’t see you that way” regardless if you were interested or not.
I don’t think I’m fat and ugly but I did start putting out mad lesbian energy (I’m queer but not strictly into any one gender) and men now just think I won’t be into them either way so they just talk to me like a human. To think of all the friendships I lost to shitty guys in my 20s when I could’ve just said I was gay the whole time…
Yey to us fat chicks! for real when I was super fit and beatiful having friends was hard, even at work! Now that I’m fat I’m much more relaxed, have a nice mixed (men and women) group of friends and don’t worry about bosses wanting to fuck me
Edit: Also I want to add 2 things for the younger ones:
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A bad relationship is worst than no relationship
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If you are not happy and confortable by yourself you’ll never be happy with someone else
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Meanwhile I had the opposite problem. Lots of friends that happened to be girls. Then they find a partner, and the conversations, meetups and discussions fizzle away, especially if I stop initiating contact. I then learn years down the line “oh yeah I had such a huge crush on you” or “I’da fucked your brains out” or some other combination. And then general blaming for me not “making the move” like no shit, I treated you as a friend. If you wanted that, just say it openly please
Unbridled proof that young single hetero-males and young single hetero-females cannot just be friends.
That’s some grade school bullshit
No it ain’t broski
I’ve had plenty of platonic friendships. I lived with one girl for 4 years and we get along great. Our birthday is one day apart and even though we live 1000 miles apart we still celebrate our birthdays together every year. She’s married and I’ve made friends with her husband and I’m married and she’s friends with my wife. So yeah, it’s possible if you’re not a dumb neanderthal and see women as people.
You’re married and old. It isn’t the same. Maybe I should’ve phrased it better.
So when we met I was unmarried and young. But keep moving those goalposts buddy
What do you smoke?
Crack
I am a 40 year old man and I have multiple lifelong female friends.
Sure, I bumped into the problem of a one sided romantic interest a few times in my life, but I have lifelong platonic female friends.
I also have lifelong female friends who I have slept with. The stars aligned to make it happen (like both of us going through a breakup) but we knew it wasn’t going to be anything else and we talked about it and never mentioned it again. That’s a rare, rare, rare thing though. It probably could have developed into more if we had wanted the same things, but we didn’t and we discussed it.
It is possible. I’m living proof.
Hell, I’ve shared beds with some of these lifelong female friends and nothing happened. We’re still friends today. I got lucky and landed a woman who trusts me and doesn’t question my intentions because she knows that I wouldn’t cheat on her for all of the gold on the planet.
One of my lifelong female friends is a bit odd though, and she always messages my wife to let her know she’s about to contact me before she does. We’ve both told her she doesn’t have to do that, but she’s a very pretty woman who is used to making jealous women suspicious.
I mean sure. It’s a bit more to navigate at times but it is doable.
Most of my friends are women and I’m a hetero male, guess were not friends then?
Yeah but you’re like 40+. It’s different for older folks
So?
You’re probably married and less spontaneous. I should’ve been more specific
I’m a cishet dude. I think sex is awesome. but I don’t understand the need to fuck everything that moves.
I get it, women can be very beautiful, sexy, cute, pretty, cool, whatever… there’s all kinds of nice. and I do appreciate that a lot. I do appreciate seeing a woman who’s any of those things. even none of those things. but I don’t get … like why do you feel the need to fuck every single person? friends are so fulfilling. the endless thirst is weird.
edit: please don’t come at me with evo psych shit. can’t believe people actually do this still. shitting is a biological drive too, but I don’t look at every surface as a toilet because I understand that it’s appropriate to shit at a toilet but not on a driveway. I think it’s possible to respect women as much as you can respect driveways to not see them as objects to your so-called biological drive.
also how come women don’t try fuck everything with a dick? you think it’s not biological for women? come on.
no the answer isn’t evolution or biology. it’s sociology. we need to educate and socialize our boys better.
the endless thirst is weird.
Except for a majority of guys, it is very, very real. Uncontrollable and overwhelming, at least until you hit your 40s, and for some guys, never, no matter what they do, and no matter how old they get.
Luckily stoicism, meditation, and psychological feedback loops have helped me a lot, but I’m currently in my sixth decade on this rock and I can still occasionally (once or twice a year) still feel this immense and un-ignorable pull to scope out a woman. My own ruminations have led me to suspect that “lust” exists as three internal forces, from an autonomic, almost instinctual need to do a double-take before you even grok her actual attractiveness, over actual hormonal/physical lust that has zero conscious control (or which extensively disrupts any attempt to control it), all the way up to infatuation that is and can be consciously directed, and can be almost immediately lost if conditions change or if proper mental discipline is employed.
And all three layers hitting you like a swirling vortex of chaos really throws you for a loop and utterly destroys your ability to take control of any part of it. I have never allowed myself to forget how horrible and uncontrollable my first few decades were.
Hell, if I could wave my hands and come up with a drug that could suppress the bottom two layers (at the very least) without having any other negative effect (low T, etc.), I would immediately release it free to all men. Because having your entire being so violently coerced into paying attention to a woman regardless of your actual intent really does suck donkey’s balls.
But hey, evolution as a whole sucks.
Contrary to what most dudes here are preaching, I think this happens just because most dudes rarely have any deep personal connection with a woman and, once they do, they feel attracted to them.
This reads a bit like satire. Really good satire!
The “girlfriend-zone” is a word im stealing from this…
I think it is satire… I realized once I read the bolded “it’s just how they’re wired, biologically.” But yes indeed, very good satire.
Oh, it’s definitely satire, making fun of “nice guys” who complain that they’ve been “friendzoned”.
The horror, friendship!
but I’m NICE! How couldn’t she love me?
Congrats on meeting the bare minimum of being a decent human, fucko.
Also so often they aren’t nice, they just think they are.
But for real. Wash frequently, groom yourself, get out of the house, and start making platonic friends. From there learn to flirt. Oh also, acknowledge the reality of how attractive you are and while it’s totally cool to shoot above your range, accept that you’re probably going to get someone similarly desirable to you. Oh and get your mental and emotional health under a certain level of control, emotional labor is part of a relationship but so often I see lonely people seeking codependency.
I was once a weirdo loser who couldn’t get a partner, and anyone who can’t do the above needs to take a good long look at why and resolve those issues. If you can’t be happy single a relationship won’t make you happier, they’re more of happiness multipliers.
get out of the house,
But the sun is out there. I think I’ll stay where the giant nuclear fusion reactor can’t see me
Join us vampires by only going out at night
Hopefully as they age they realize the friend zone never existed and these people either never saw them as potential mates/dates or they did and the guy did something to change that.
Eh i would say the friend zone absolutely exists.
My wife tried to friend zone me early in our relationship. She wanted to date around and still be friends with me. I told her that wasnt ok with me because i had stronger feelings for her than that and id be miserable. I cut ties.
A few months later she asked me on a date out of the blue. I spoke my peace that to me, this was a real date. Well, that was almost 13 years ago and we just had our 9th wedding anniversary
I refer you to the second part “or the guy did something to change that”. You walking away made her reconsider how she valued you.
I wonder if she’s an egg or at least a lesbian
