You are still you, you can speak human language that you already know, and you know how to speak duck.
You have to learn how to be a duck. This means you gotta learn how to fly, hunt food, etc.
I suppose I’d duck.
Probably contacting some media outlets to try and monetize my talking-duck status, and wondering if if my life expectancy is on par with duck or human.
Do you want to end up being dissected in a government lab? Because that’s how you get dissected in a government lab.
Quak
Quack?
Quack :)
Quack
Quack?
you’re learning!
Yay!
Eughm, QUARK
What beautiful lobes you have.
I start wondering if I’m ugly.
Waddle around the pond hitting up old folks for bread that is unhealthy for my diet and nipping at the toes of small children.
Open a wine bottle, maybe? Put the corkscrew to use.
“Bro, you see that duck over there? It stole my wine bottle”
“Do you want it back? It’s already open now.” “You know what? I think I’ll pass.”
“Get back here, I want it back!!”
Probably open up my phone and pull up youtube to watch some duck documentaries. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be eating or what things out there are usually wanting to eat me.
There are some really good “I just woke up as a duck” tutorials on Coursera.
Avoid the ones on Wiki How, they are repurposed courses originally intended for people who woke up as a chicken.
Put on a blue cap, blue nautical shirt; but, and I can’t stress this enough, NO PANTS.
But for gods sake, wrap yourself in a towel after you shower.
Hand cover your crotch if someone walks in on you
I’d walk to a lemonade stand to see if they had any grapes.
It’s been 84 years…
Then (and I cannot emphasize this enough) I’d waddle away.
Till the very next day?
Probably make a poo on the floor.
Either mine or in the hallway (if I know how to open the door).Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
JERRY, NO MINECRAFT! I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Attack someone with a sandwich
Quack.
I would learn to fly and then fly to one of those parks where secret service agents meet. Become a spy and sell the intelligence I gather.
Fly into bohemian grove.
There could be more to it than that - like take up ballet.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Crime
Or crime busting
I am the terror that flaps in the night…
I am the ingrown toenail on the foot of crime…
