I’m comfortable being a woman with my lady parts. I also like to pretend. I told people I was male (transmasc, specifically) so that I could freely experience attraction to just men without having the “straight” label.

Whatever I was, I did NOT want to be straight, so presenting as a trans guy helped me feel better about myself. I could be a gay man. Then, I was a non-binary demiboy (either gay or bi but would only date men).

I felt like a girl in real life. I still do. I didn’t feel dysphoria nor a desire to transition in any way, neither socially nor physically nor anything. It just felt relieving to be a gay trans guy, but that still made me trans even though I didn’t identify as male nor did I ever see myself as male, right?

(I see myself as a woman and always have, I don’t have dysphoria. I identify as a woman who wants a penis. I think I’m moreso attracted to the idea of having male parts than actually seeing myself as a guy, but like I said, it relieved me to be gay and not straight.)

long story short, I’m a woman slightly attracted to the idea of herself being a trans guy or having a penis.

  • RedSeries (She/Her)@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    20·
    5 hours ago

    I’m comfortable being a woman with my lady parts. I also like to pretend. I told people I was male (transmasc, specifically) so that I could freely experience attraction to just men without having the “straight” label.

    This is the part people will likely get upset about. I’m not pretending when I say I’m a woman. I am trans. Trans folks have been begging for people to respect their identity. It has nothing to do with sexuality, I did not transition in order to be seen as a lesbian woman or as a straight man. I did it to be seen as a woman. The other labels are added on after.

    The way you’ve worded this, it seems like you’ve taken the trans masc identity and the trust that’s been garnered around trans identities and abused it. Your feelings about this are valid, but I really feel you should approach this differently.

    If you are feeling uncertain about your gender, then explore that and determine if you truly feel that way. Maybe you are trans masc? Maybe not? If you find yourself struggling with your gender but not rejecting your assigned gender at birth, maybe explore what it means to be genderfluid or nonbinary?

    If you feel this is strictly a discomfort with your sexuality labels and perception of them, please find some other ways to convey it that does not involve abusing gender labels.