chuso@kbin.socialtoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•Where and when did you start your fediverse journey?
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1 year agoI created my account in Status.net (now GNU Social) around 2009 and later it was switched to pump.io: https://identi.ca/chuso
And Diaspora* in 2010: https://joindiaspora.com/people/4d0aa88b2c174330380001db
Like others, with not a lot success with those early projects until I joined Mastodon in 2017: @chuso
Yes, there are red flags there IMHO.
You know, I’ve seen similar behaviours so many times from people that they tell you how many problems they have and they kind of put the burden on you to deal with their problems. I don’t mean you cannot be supportive of them if they really have problems they are trying to fix, but you shouldn’t be dealing with someone else’s problems if they don’t want to do anything about them themselves.
I usually listen to them, tell them that I understand they are going through hard times and that I understand how tough that is being for them and all that supportive stuff… and then I tell them to go to therapy.
We cannot be someone else’s therapists. Unless, you know, we are actual therapists. And even in that case, they would have to go through one of our formal therapies. I don’t think even therapists get into relationships with someone just to fix them.
Some people will take the advice and consider getting help while others will not even consider it because they just want to take you hostage of their emotions. It’s not worth putting any much more effort into someone who is apparently crying for help but doesn’t really want to make any change and just wants to manipulate you instead.
And punching other people? Yeah, I don’t care how “honourable” his reasons were, that’s also a red flag.