hazel

Thanks 😘 I’ve actually lurked for a while as a .world in arguably the wrong spaces, but now feel like I can actually be active here since reworking my client into essentially a Blahaj portal.

I think the last couple of days have been my first tingle of E that isn’t placebo. Feeling like I’m a person in the world rather than a viewer behind a screen. Maybe it is placebo and I’m just thrilled knowing what that little patch on my thigh is doing. I dunno. I’m happy. I’m not a happy person but I’ve been happy, despite other aspects of my life actually being kind of a mess right now.

Did they start you out with blockers as well or just E for the time being?

Your kitchen experience hits home. Every workplace I’ve been in I’ve related more to the women around me, and felt lonely for having them treat me like the other men. Not that genders are separate and cliquey like that in most places, but it’s little comments and assumptions of the “well you’re a man so you probably blah blah” sort that I find disheartening. Meanwhile I’m putting on this weird “how do you do, fellow men” act with the guys.

Also, we’re HRT twins! Day 15 begins in 6 minutes for me.

This is the opposite of how I feel and it’s ruining me. I need to be beautiful so others will find me desirable, but I also fear compliments and feel guilty for receiving them and not knowing how to respond. I also avoid going outside when I don’t feel pretty enough. I don’t know how to stop, and my makeup expenses are out of control. Please help.