TIL Jesus was only 4 and a half feet tall, and also red for some reason.
Crown of thorns…
Those must’ve been some really long thorns if he need to be made that much shorter for his crown to fit within the allotted 6’.
The crown is responsible for the red coloring of sweet lord Jesus’ skin.
As for the height
People were a lot shorter back then
Is that blood then? Cause that’s kind of a lot of blood, especially considering the usual depiction just involves like a few trickles and rivulets, not whole-ass sheets of blood enough to cover even a startlingly short adult.
People were a lot shorter back then
Not that much shorter. The average height for men in ancient Rome, taken from remains recovered from Pompeii/etc, was, to low-ball it, 165cm (5’6") (I can’t find a link to the study itself, but it’s quoted below), while the global average height today is 5’8", so people were only a couple inches shorter on average 2000 years ago. I suspect the range between minimum and maximum height is greater today because many people near those extremes have health problems that tend to be fatal without treatment, so that may skew perspectives.
The major samples from Herculaneum and Pompeii reveal the stature of the ancient adult body. The average height for females was calculated from the data to have been 155 cm in Herculaneum and 154 cm in Pompeii: that for males was 169 cm in Herculaneum and 166 cm in Pompeii. This is somewhat higher than the average height of modern Neapolitans in the 1960s and about 10 cm shorter than the WHO recommendations for modern world populations.
- Laurence, Ray. “Health and the Life Course at Herculaneum and Pompeii.” Health in Antiquity. Ed. Helen King. London: Routledge, 2005.
Now let’s do some pixel-counting to figure out how tall big J is in that image. The cave is 640px in height and it’s indicated that it’s 6’, while the J-man is 465px tall.
6’ *12 = 72", 640/72 = 8.89px/in.
465/8.89 = 52.3"
So shorty over there is 4’4" tall, or more than a foot shorter than the average height during his lifetime. Also, can I just say: Hell yeah, I fucking nailed it when I guesstimated 4 and a half feet tall in my original comment.
Hell yeah, I fucking nailed it
big oooof on the j-dawg and his tree.
but seriously, nice bit of ackchyually here.
lol, thanks, on both counts. :)
the height, he ate the wax off his edam and you’re not supposed to do that its also why hes red
Short king
His body is short bread.
Maybe they just forgot which cave they left him in, couldn’t find the right one later and then decided to commit to the resurrection thing rather than admitting that they lost him.
Is that what they mean when they say “have you found jeebus?”
I always say “how did you cunts lose him in the first place, he was nailed to a fucking plus-sign?”
He was behind the couch this whole time.
232 at the libary dewey. 232 at the libary
My Brother in Chrysler, that’s a lowercase t
I’ve had good results upsetting the religious with anything vaguely scientific or mathematical
across from where?
I just wanted to say that I appreciate you
was jesus’s first name Kilmar?
TIL that Jesus was 4ft tall.
People were a lot shorter back then
And darker skinned
Happy zombie Jesus day!
Yeah, but where’s Sadam Hussein?
Dude goes on a 3 day bender 2000 years ago so now I gotta hide chocolate eggs in my backyard and pretend a mutant diabetes inducing rabbit put them there.
you could just buy nose candy instead
remember Jesus was pro prostitute
Kids: Dad, there’s no Easter eggs outside.
Me coked out of my mind: *Sniffing erratically* REALLY THATS CRAZY DID YOU KNOW IN 1951 THE CIA LACED THE DRINKING WATER OF THE FRENCH TOWN OF POINT SAINT-ESPRIT WITH PSYCHEDELICS WHICH MADE THE RESIDENTS HALLUCINATE SHIT AND THEN BLAMED IT ON MOLDY BREAD!
…Dad?
Fuck, they found me! Better go back out for some milk.
Rabbit and chocolate are not even remotely biblical either. Church adopted that shit to appease pagan converts ages ago.
In the original draft, Jesus was supposed to be an anthropomorphic chocolate throwing rabbit, but the writer was forced to change him to be human for marketing reasons.
He seems pretty short for a messiah
The short king of kings
People thought that Dalton would be taller too…
Where the fuck is Saddam Hussein?
Ramen
Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.
So Jesus Christ is the English translation for Saddam Hussein? Interesting, also short king.
Jesus was tiny.
Hu inssain
Resting place? More like hiding place lol
deleted by creator
What? Jesus was shorter than 6ft?
