• Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
    127·
    1 month ago

    Years and years ago, I was really active on a forum, and one of the members did this world trip, couch surfing with different members of the forum and seeing the world. She and I weren’t good friends. In fact, she irritated me a bit, nothing in particular, just… Didn’t vibe. At all. But a leg of her trip was taking through my state, and she needed a place to crash, so I said fuck it, sure.

    She stayed with her best friend from the forum in Boston, and it was a complete bust. They didn’t get along, Boston friend found her irritating, grating, and overwhelmingly boring.

    Then she got to my place, and I made a new best friend. We got along so well she stayed an extra 2 days, and we had a fucking blast.

    Irl/online can be a major difference, one from the other

    • other_cat@lemmy.zipEnglish
      17·
      1 month ago

      Very true. I had someone I was friends with IRL who I would talk about my online roleplay community with. I asked if she was interested in joining and she said sure. She was… insufferable. Did not get along with anyone else. I found her online presence incredibly grating. It was crazy, it was a completely different person.

      • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
        12·
        1 month ago

        I’ve got a good friend who played D&D with us a couple times and found out real quick that not all friend groups are okay with overlapping. It was awful

      • NKBTN@feddit.uk
        01·
        1 month ago

        My writing words and my speaking words are very different. Writing is much better. All but one of my girlfriends over the last 20 years were chatted up online/email/sms first. IRL, they’d probably have been put off by my verbal hesitation, and my glancing at their knockers ever 10 seconds (a habit I find it impossible to break without intense concentration on not doing it)

    • Rob T Firefly@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      1 month ago

      I was once really excited to meet a forum friend on whom I’d been crushing on a little as we were going to attend the same event, and she brought along a forum newbie who lived near her and who I didn’t really know all that well.

      It turned out my crush and I had just platonically friendly vibes in person, but her friend and I had an immediate major connection and ended up dating seriously for a year.

      • bund@sh.itjust.works
        7·
        1 month ago

        it’s a video so I think that like said it’s just situating that it’s who’s she’s with rn and she hates the IRL version of her online best friend. Itdoes go with the argument that could be made, that online human interaction aren’t a 100% “real”.

        • Rhaedas@fedia.io
          2·
          1 month ago

          They can be, but verifying everything is close to factual is hard to do. I do think that what makes the friendship is key - if it’s something that’s enjoyed online, then odds are you aren’t going to be completely compatible IRL with other things, maybe even most things past the one thing you share. If it’s more general things, then the odds go up a bit, but you still don’t know the “vibe” the person gives off in reality, so there could be traits that you’re better off not knowing about. However, I met my wife online (back before “real” internet on Quantum Link, a national BBS for C-64) and we’re still compatible, so it can happen. Granted, it was a lot different then, but there were fakes and scammers then too.

        • OccultIconoclast@reddthat.comEnglish
          22·
          1 month ago

          Oh great, we’ve got an internet truther here.

          Mate, the internet exists. It’s part of reality. It’s not a fantasy otherworld.

  • BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world
    7·
    1 month ago

    How do people even have online friends, I only have occasional chats with strangers on Reddit or Lemmy but I wouldn’t call anyone a friend let alone meet them in real life

    • monarch@lemm.eeEnglish
      9·
      1 month ago

      I think the easiest answer is to play online games with a mic until you meet someone you click with then make a discord and grow it. That’s what I did when I had online friends at least.

      • BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world
        6·
        1 month ago

        Yeah that sounds good, but English isn’t my first language and I’m not that good at any games. Still worth a shot

    • REDACTED@infosec.pubEnglish
      6·
      1 month ago

      How do you call someone you have known thru irc, skype and now discord, for 20+years, but never met in life? Those strangers probably knows things my family does not

    • Tug@lemmy.world
      5·
      1 month ago

      I have a solid squad of 6 that have been playing Xbox together for 15 years. We’re all friends scattered across the country and have never met IRL.

  • Pan0wski@infosec.pub
    6·
    1 month ago

    I met my internet best friend this summer and I think that’s how she felt about me.

    We had an okay time together but our friendship doesn’t feel the same anymore (in a bad way) and it’s 100% my fault because I was agressively insecure all the time. I was meeting someone from the internet for the very first time and it was also the very first time I left my country completely on my own.

    However, that trip and meetup changed me a lot for the better. I feel like I matured a lot after that.

    I hope she will forgive me and give me a second chance. I will also very much understand if she doesn’t.

      • Pan0wski@infosec.pub
        4·
        1 month ago

        No, I haven’t.

        I know that I should but I’m having a hard time getting myself to talk about it.

        • Nalivai@lemmy.world
          7·
          1 month ago

          Is it possible that all of that is in your head and it’s just your insecurities talking? It’s actually super common to feel like your friends don’t like you because you were super awkward, when in reality it’s exclusively in your head. I’ve been on both sides of this situation multiple times, and 100% of the time it was absolutely a false feeling.