That’s the thing though: if you’re having trouble finding someone who wants to listen to you, the problem might possibly be you. let’s just say it’s not out of the realm of possibility. But if you are happy to sit there refusing therapy with circular logic: you’re your own problem and all this is is you’ve found a way to self sustain that cover and you’ve convinced yourself. Fair enough. That’s your decision,

therapy is really for those who are ready to admit they are unhappy with how things are(and willing to realize they play a part in their unhappiness) and more open to tearing down those old toxic behaviours to build something more engaging that might do better at relationships .

If you don’t see yourself in that description, then you’re right. Therapy would do nothing for you.

-plenty of men out there do planning

-going along with someone is not a lack of socializing it can be their way of supporting.

-In fact it’s probably better that a dude doesn’t take over on a woman doing it because that has been taught to be all sorts of sexist now. I know if it were me in the middle of organizing and some dude took over I’d be all sorts of pissed off.

-There is social aspect in video games too. In fact there is a large amount of social presence online. You also have wallflowers online but just saying, if someone is looking at their screen it doesn’t necessarily mean they are incapable of social ability. there’s actually a skill in online presence.

As is echoed a lot in this entire post of replies: therapy isn’t really mentioned here. And that might be a key when it comes to male mental and emotional health.

Interesting how you brought incels up here and how you think they are created from the apps.

There’s a huge portion of users that reach for such an app that may think ‘intimate relationships =happiness’ that require therapy to address why they are unhappy (and how they do relationships) before they should try a relationship (regardless of app).

While I don’t believe the apps are necessarily what is causing this problem (any user decides on their own whether they are ready to date regardless of mental and emotional capability prior to joining) It certainly doesn’t help the situation but makes the compound result much faster. EG: I’ve seen the ‘ghosting’ definition change a lot once dating apps came into play. It used to be when you have a legitimate relationship developed and one person nopes out of it without warning. It had a legitimate victim that’s left out of the cold when another person essentially wasted their time and had a very hefty amount of inconsideration. Now it’s used in a situation if a dude gave someone the jeeb vibes on first meet and got immediately blocked after the one date or even before it makes it to that point and then calls it ghosting. And before we go the route of “well how would he know if no one tells him his behaviour is weird” : dating isn’t a survey. victims of the creepy behaviour aren’t therapists and it’s not their job. They are just on there to date too. They just want to feel safe. Their job at most is themselves. It’s not to curate someone else to become dateable. Lots of unsafe topics about the dating apps on documentaries around so people aren’t going to take it on themselves to provide feedback such as “what you said was inappropriate” without that going sideways with aggression and feeling even more unsafe.

If this is actually feeling like it’s happening a lot, I’d say: close the dating app, find a therapist, talk about why you’re feeling lonely as the problem might be more local than it what is going on the dating app. Cuz the one person whose job it is to give feedback on how you’re doing especially in situations of a relationship with others is a therapist.

It’s like you say: the apps are there to make money. They aren’t there with legitimate concern for their users whether or not they are ready for going into the dating pool. But that said: it really isn’t on the dating apps to do all that either, that is a question the user should be taking on themselves before joining the app and expecting all the results. Sometimes it is on the user.

This might be regional too. 3rd places in some cities are promoted as a social norm compared to others. More of a ‘night life’ where as some cities is like you have nothing much to do but go out in nature. I think those areas are a heavier struggle than others when it comes to socializing

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you should also crack them and smear them all over the wall for maximum effect.

Someone needs to paint some eyes in the pocket flaps and post it as a meme on the police website to just rub it in how fucking off they are on something so obvious.

it doesn’t come in 8 colors. I feel bad for the idiots who upvoted you and believed that was even possible.

Dude has a hoody with a flap jacket staying in a hostel. At best he’s a vfx artist and has 5 of the same color.

I don’t think lighting makes a light grey backpack into black. That’s a bit of a stretch. Especially considering the jacket on the left have no chest pockets. The one on the right has massive pocket flaps like they are the main character.

When people have different jackets and backpacks it not just to have the same jacket in different color. It’s to have a heavier jacket or different sized backpacks.

Also hostel guy eye look more wide set and his brow is more pronounced. Bridge of nose looks wider and deeper too.

A lot of conservatives want to simplify life because they have a simple mind.

Yes, they do this already within gendered sports (different weights to compete) so just remove the gender side of it.

Because the image of snow cannot be found

A mess

Considering how much meat is required to keep a lion fed per day, part of me thinks feeding it to lions would be sensible but on the other side it depends on making sure the meat is cleaned and that the animal that died didn’t die of a cause that would cause internal damage to the lion. Lions on the Serengeti feed on freshly caught food so their catch is usually pretty clean.

The new cars have been coming out with voice commands also so you don’t have to look at the screen while driving. They even have a tactile button for it on the wheel.

I don’t care about

I’ve told 3 coworkers already that I don’t talk to them

Ok so now you’re adding more information here. 3 people. this sounds less about just having some standards and more of a pattern emerging here.

What you are describing is more in line with how an APD thinks and behaves and not just a mere introvert trait.

The introversion trait isn’t attached to aversion. It’s based on personal need. No one trait needs to be rude and throw all politeness out the window. That’s bigger than a mere trait. People with introvert trait (without comorbidity) can actually talk to people and have a social ability even at work and they do not shy away from socializing full stop. They take periodic breaks based on need.

they feel offended

Again: that’s predictive.

Something doesn’t compute here. Unless you’ve misplaced yourself into a customer based industry and you’re just not a people person: Having a mere trait doesn’t end up with a collection of people aggressive at work. Nor would it be so attached to aversion and delivering hostile narrative on what other people must be thinking.

There is a proper way to break a conversation without having to be abrupt about not wanting to talk. Simply having a trait doesn’t rule over basic common decency.

You sound like you have something else going on aside from just the introvert trait.

Op didn’t say they were attracted to them. You know this.

You gave advice as a way to creep someone out as an alternative solution to being left alone. That is using sexual harassment as a mode of operation.

First off, I’m am not seeing really great communication skills coming from your end in your story here.

he keeps insinuating there is something wrong with me just because I don’t ask him about his private life

This is predicting. Or do you actually know he thinks this? The use of ‘insinuating’ sounds like you’re filling in a lot of blank space with your own narrative. Unless he came out and actually said this, private information isn’t necessarily an unspoken agreed upon trade. And if it was that would be a fault on his side.

And Just to get it out of the way: Introvert isn’t where you don’t want to socialize. It’s just a personality trait in how you recharge with or without socializing. Typical introvert would not avoid socializing altogether. They’d socialize and then excuse themselves for a time being. This is of course with healthy preferences of who to socialize with like any average person could have and that is perfectly fine but that isn’t a trait of what makes a person introvert or extrovert. That’s just having standards.

Either way, this just sounds like you have made a choice that this person isn’t for you and you have some unspoken boundaries and expect someone to know your boundaries without telling them. Even if you think you are being clear with social queues this might be a case of miscommunication of what a social queue is for you and what he reads communication(possible) . But I wouldn’t leave that to assumption.

People aren’t mind readers so of it is bothering you this much you could tell him like several others are suggesting.

after that if he doesn’t let up, see HR as that would be harassment at that point.