clever & funny bio goes here

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: February 25th, 2024

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  • Joke answer: I once got to fly on a private jet. It was pretty frickin sweet. Show up to the FBO ten minutes before departure time. Pilot haphazardly wands us. Cabin seats 8, and all 8 of us work for the teapot factory. Plane was owned by the factory’s owner.

    Real answer: I flew United a couple times last fall and had great experiences. Last time before that was flying Southwest back in 2018, which was also a fairly good experience.



  • Referencing an unpopular future possibility - “that’ll go over like a turd in a punch bowl”

    Describing something you don’t miss - “I miss that like I’d miss a case of the clap”

    Rain coming in at a weird angle - “this rain is like a cow pissing on a flat rock”

    When someone says they wish some specific thing would happen - “wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up first”

    When you’re unenthusiastic about something - “I’d rather shit in my hands and clap”








    • doesn’t return shopping cart to corral at the store
    • rude to service industry people or anyone else they see as being lower status
    • mean to animals
    • if she has kids, treats them as a burden/neglects them
    • expects me to pick up the tab for everything at all times, excepting rare situations like “we’ve been together a while & live together, she just lost her job but is actively looking”
    • has a breathalyzer interlock on her car’s ignition
    • in general, acts cruel or mean to people without obvious provocation
    • any form of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse
    • excessive consumption of alcohol or marijuana
    • any consumption of harder drugs
    • any other sign of gross immaturity or irresponsibility not listed above - i’m looking for a partner, not a dependant



  • Cold. Work was closed for a couple days due to inclement weather, so during the abbreviated week it has been hard to stay focused and productive.

    In more positive news I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and started on atomoxetine. I’ve been on it for nearly a month, and I feel like it’s helping. Last week I was consistently having three to five hours of productivity per day, where before I was doing well to get that much in a whole week.

    For me at least I feel like there’s some truth to the screencap I see floating around in adhd communities about:

    My brain has two productivity modes:

    • 30 minutes of work in 3 hours
    • 3 hours of work in 30 minutes

    It switches back & forth randomly and I don’t seem to have any control over it.