It’s like in a romance language. If it’s mixed genders, then no, but if it’s only women, then yes. If I’m in a mixed group of friends, “You guys” is totally fine, but if I’m solely with my transfem friends and someone says “You guys” to us, it feels tone deaf at best and like pretty blatant misgendering at worst.
I get this when we’re at restaurants sometimes and it’s pretty clear when the waitstaff are being rude. Table of all cis women next to us? “Can I get you girls anything else?” Our table of transwomen clearly presenting femme? “Can I get you guys anything else?” kinda sucks.
Unironically, “Y’all” has become a significant part of my vernacular when talking to groups of people, but especially around my queer peeps because it covers every possible option, including those outside the gender binary.
It’s like in a romance language. If it’s mixed genders, then no, but if it’s only women, then yes. If I’m in a mixed group of friends, “You guys” is totally fine, but if I’m solely with my transfem friends and someone says “You guys” to us, it feels tone deaf at best and like pretty blatant misgendering at worst.
I get this when we’re at restaurants sometimes and it’s pretty clear when the waitstaff are being rude. Table of all cis women next to us? “Can I get you girls anything else?” Our table of transwomen clearly presenting femme? “Can I get you guys anything else?” kinda sucks.
Unironically, “Y’all” has become a significant part of my vernacular when talking to groups of people, but especially around my queer peeps because it covers every possible option, including those outside the gender binary.